He who can pronounce my name aright, he can call me, and is entitled to my love and service. – Henry David Thoreau In the beginning, I was me. For those with non-traditional or unconventional spellings, this isn’t a given. To many, including my grandfather, I was “Jerry.” To others, I was Gary, often with a long a. Although they were not me, answering to any variation was...
Living with a parent as an older adult is not like having a roommate. You may have lived as a full-grown, self-sufficient adult, but your “roomie” is still your momma, and, in her eyes, you are still 8 years old. Conversations with Momma could be enlightening, challenging, infuriating, and awkward – often simultaneously. Any sentence that began with “Let me ask you a...
I don’t know much about John Hodo except that he was important to Momma. He had a wife, although their legal marital status was murky. She was ample-sized, matching John’s burly frame. They lived at the end of a dirt road in a wooden house that had seen better days. It had a large front porch with the obligatory rocking chairs and a smaller back porch with a manual crank washer. To a...
Momma had an odd way of communicating. It was nebulous and imprecise. I spent my childhood in a quandary, a constant state of confusion. When I was eight, she called out, “Gerry Neil, bring me that thing.” “What thing, Momma?” It must be important because she used my middle name. “You know, that thing. That thing in yonder.” Still lost, I waited. She...
The daughter of an old Hollywood family had a beautiful birthday tradition. She would call her mother to thank her for being her mother. What a wonderful idea! I started a similar tradition, sending Momma flowers or a plant for my birthday. Today, it was a basket of gardenias. Growing up, a gardenia bush stood outside my bedroom window. Momma would open all the windows each spring. It was...
I never outgrew my love of the circus. I always dreamed of running away and playing keyboard in the pit band. Instead, I ended up holding down a real job, but some days I still dream about it. I had friends who ran an old-fashioned 3-ring circus under the big tent. It didn’t have all the lights and glamor of the Ringling Brothers, but it was very exciting because you were right there. You could...
The lines between holidays are almost nonexistent. Christmas trees are now multipurpose, with ornament options for every holiday from Valentine’s Day to the Fourth of July to Halloween. There isn’t much available for Thanksgiving because there is little turnaround time between Halloween and Christmas. It is best to hold off on outdoor decorating until the turkey leftovers are packaged...
The local pet store was hosting a photo opportunity with Santa, so I decided to bring Lynda along. She had a great Jingle Bell sash that would look great in a photo. When we arrived, we stopped by the grooming salon to say hello to her groomer, Jesus, and the gang. She loves seeing them, and they always take really good care of her. While we waited our turn to see Santa, lots of yappy dogs in...
We needed cat litter and a couple of other things. No problem. I’m a drive-by shopper. In and out. Back in a few! Since Walmart had the best price, I went there. I loathe it, but it is the biggest game in these parts—a necessary evil. As I entered the store, reality hit. You can only go as fast as the shoppers around you. The vortex opened. Time stood still. There was no escape. A young mother...
The Boys were up for a visit. After of full day of “Running Uncle Gerry Ragged,” they fell asleep on the sofa. Knowing that Mom was tired and her arthritis was kicking her, I offered to help get them to bed. My attempts to rouse the 7-year-old were an epic failure. He wouldn’t budge and fought every attempt to wake him. Momma nudged me aside and said, “That’s OK. Here’s what you need...
My name is Gerry, pronounced with a hard “G.” Momma wanted a non-traditional name for her son - something different. Different is what she got.