We needed cat litter and a couple of other things. No problem. I’m a drive-by shopper. In and out. Back in a few!
Since Walmart had the best price, I went there. I loathe it, but it is the biggest game in these parts—a necessary evil.
As I entered the store, reality hit. You can only go as fast as the shoppers around you. The vortex opened. Time stood still. There was no escape.
A young mother with a full cart and two rambunctious children was the first speed bump. She blocked everything I needed in that aisle while her two children meandered around, touching everything and making sure I couldn’t get past them.
Another woman socialized down every aisle. She seemed to meet someone she hadn’t seen in ages in every aisle, which I quickly realized meant last Sunday at church. It was Monday. Still, they had so much to catch up on.
A woman with a Bluetooth earpiece was holding up traffic in the hair care aisle. She on the phone, fighting with her boyfriend. She was hot because he had put her on hold. As I tried to get her attention, the boyfriend returned to the call, and their argument resumed. Arms started waving and her braids were swinging wildly as it escalated. I turned around quickly. The situation was getting dangerous..
When I finally got everything, I headed to the registers. After waiting in a long line at one of the few open registers, I needed to stop at the restroom before heading home. The cleaning lady, Priscilla, was going in to tidy up and promised she’d be “just a minute.” She parked her cart in front of the door and hung an “Cleaning in Progress” sign.
I waited patiently. She had been in there so long that I expected a sparkling restroom. However, when she finally let me in, there was little evidence that she’d done any cleaning. I guess she spent most of that time out of the security cameras’ view playing Candy Crush.
More than an hour after I entered the store, I headed to my car, lugging 25 lbs. of cat litter, exhausted from my “quick” run.
